Cautious

After last week’s fall (which you can read about here), this week has been so much more cautious. The fall and the prevailing scuffing of my right foot have hurt my moral and outlook so very much and left me questioning my sanity in doing this.

Why AM I doing this? I have run London before; what am I doing it for now?  I am not really enjoying this- I seem to be constantly putting my body through pain, and just when I repair, I do it again. Every time I go upstairs I am reminded by my thighs that I am trying to get up to speed (pun intended). I am already looking forward to the end of April when I intend to just focus on Parkruns and staying fit. There really is no logic to it all.

I know I am lucky to get into London through the ballot, and I should grab this opportunity with both hands, but really, it is not that important to me. In the what seemed like half hour between falling and hitting the deck last weekend, I realized- there has to be more to life than this, the running alone, the constant tiredness, the missing out on my family.

An old school friend recently passed away. We went to secondary school together, and he was also a neighbor at the first place my then-fiancee and I lived in. His passing has bought it home to me- life is short, and moments are fleeting- I need to do what is important to me, not the bright and shiny. For some, this could MAKE them run London and cherish it- to be honest, it is having the opposite effect on me.

Right now, I am not so sure if the prize of running 26 miles one day in London is worth all of the pain beforehand.

Over the last week, I have completed 2 half hour sessions on the treadmill, with sprints and everything. I am also stretching regularly, and from today, I have a rubber band to try and strengthen my thigh.

I went out this morning for a couple mile aiming to do 3 but ending with 2. It was very cold and slippery, and my leg would just not un-seize, so rather than fall again, I stopped.

I am still on track for London. Right now, it could go either way. I am, however, thinking of a plan B….

 

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